I can't control my Eyebrow

If you watched The Bachelor tonight you probably know EXACTLY what the title of this blog post means.

This week the girls and Sean go to St. Croix and enjoy a little drama!  Backstabbing and crying ALWAYS make for a good episode.

One-on-One: Ashlee

Ashl-ee gets the first date on a private island with Sean and rolls around 1/2 naked in the sand! Sean gets real and straight up asks Ashlee about Sparkly Tierra.  THANKFULLY Ashlee tells him the truth that she's a 2-faced psycho! I mean Ashlee is really just looking out for him HERSELF! After that she comes clean and tells Sean that she got married when she was 17 and divorced a year later.

This news doesn't even seem to phase Sean because she's being real and genuine! She then stands on her chair and screams to St. Croix that she LURVES Sean!

Photo Credit: ABC via WENN

Next Up....

Sparkly Tierra and the Eyebrow!

After receiving the date card she tells the girl that she's disappointed she's not going to the beach and that she has to walk around the hot sweaty city.  I mean this is going to ruin her hair and makeup and Sean might see through her first face after it melts off...

So the 2 go galavanting around the city of St. Croix and Tierra and her eyebrow seem to be having a sparkly great time! She's just a great actress, isn't she???

ABC/San Francisco Roman

Even though she's psychotic, this girl is pretty smart!  She can sense that Sean is being a little distant and figures out that Ashlee must have told him something!  Smart girl...

Three On One

Starts in the middle of the night with Sean waking the girls from their beauty sleep and seeing who they really are, no makeup, no deodorant and skanky mcnasty breath!

Catherine, Desiree and Girl who wore a wedding dress on the first night and talks like a 2-year old toddler get to go on this snoozefest date...

They take the most boring road trip of all time around the island and watch the sun rise and Desiree explained at the end of the evening that "there is no sunset".  NEWSFLASH - the sun always set's you just might not see it.  See Desiree, I just taught you something...

Photo Credit: ABC via WENN

Girl in the Wedding dress from the first night gets the rose for the evening.

One On One: Leslie (the girl who nicknamed Tierra Tierrarist)

Uneventful they clearly didn't have a connection.. They wandered some old mill and picked fruit LAME!!!

Ashlee and Tierra get into a HUGE TIFF AKA Byotch Fight

My absolute favorite part of the entire season is Tierra explaining that she can't control her eyebrow!

"THIS IS MY FACE

I CAN NOT CONTROL MY EYEBROW

IF I SMILED ALL THE TIME MY FACE WOULD GET TIRED"

While the byotch fight was happening at the hizzouse - Sean's Sister randomly shows up for a chat on the beach! She tells Sean that if a girl can't get along with other girls then there is a huge RED FLAG! Sean walks up to the house to get TTT -Tierra  and of course finds her bawling on her cot in the hallway!

FINALLY - Sean comes to his senses and sends Tierra Packing!

I CAN NOT WAIT for Tierra and her sparkly eyebrow to make her appearance on BACHELOR PAD! Seriously, this girl is like reality TV Gold!

Rose Ceremony - Leslie goes home!  Too bad, she was the funniest one in the house and Tierra was the craziest so this is gonna be BORING for the rest of the season..

THIS IS HOW AMERICA FELT WHEN WE FOUND OUT TIERRA WAS GOING HOME....

Girl Talk Tuesday: Life Lessons From The Bachelor

Do you feel like you need to drink a glass a bottle of wine just to make it through The Bachelor?  In all honesty I'm really not that into Sean and he is boring the crap outta me, but Tierra is making an honest effort to keep me entertained!!!

My friend told me that she saw Sean out in Dallas on NYE and he's not even that cute.. I'm not really into Albino guys, however I am into abs, so I think that's what has kept me coming back for more this season!

I just want to recap from tonight a few things I learned tonight!

Life Lessons From the Bachelor

HAHAHA - I'm a crazy, Manipulative Byotch, I can't believe Sean believes this load of bull....

I'm gonna chug that goat milk like its my job - Leslie #Hashtag Losing

Losers are sometimes winners! // Shown by Sean inviting the blue team to spend the evening with with him and the red team after they lost.  No name bangs girl was not happy after she chugged goat milk for Sean and she still didn't get the rose!

If you want to get engaged for free just contact The Bachelor // Thank you Neil Lane and Jarrod for sponsoring yet another engagement, WE GET IT Neil Lane!!! 99% of the world can never afford one of your rings, keep reminding us of this!

If u dont understand what a white albino {aka Sean} says just start smiling and say squee eeeeggg yeeeee - Catherine

How is it possible to sit on each other's laps?  Isn't it just one person sitting on the other person's lap?  I'm really confused by this statement!?!?

If you want to make a girl stop crying just stick your tongue in her mouth and make disgusting lip-smacking noises...

If you are REAL and GENUINE {aka willing to suck my face at all times} then you will get A rose!!!! Seriously Sean if you say this one more time I'm going to throw up! You have no idea who is real and genuine, good luck figuring this one out...

Tell a guy that you are so so scared because of your heart... You will have him eating out of the palms of your hand!! Seriously... #Tierra

Don't talk shit on your competition in front of your man.  Men DO NOT find this attractive...

Last, but not least, the random fact of the day -- You know ur an alcoholic when u spill ur wine all over your couch and don't care because there's wine all over your couch, but because you wasted wine.... #Winning/#Wining! Haha, get it????

Linking-up with Helene In Between!

Girl Talk Tuesday: A few facts and The Bachelor

Linking up with Helene and Whitney for Tell Me About it Tuesday and Facts Of Me (plus a little a lot of Bachelor info).

I'm scared of staying home by myself, I literally sleep with one eye open

I have 2 kittens and I'm slowly becoming a crazy cat lady



I get scared when my cats stare into thin air, are they looking at Ghosts?

I Lurve ALL trashy reality shows (bachelor recap below)

I've been wearing the same sweats and top every single night! Eww...

I spend way too much time sitting on my A** , thankfully I have a really comfy couch

I hate showering on Sundays

I sometimes facebook stalk people, like in an unhealthy way

I go to Ross/TJ Maxx/Marshalls/Target atleast 3 - 4 times a week

Wannabe Baker

I'm obsessed with a Bargain even if it's something I don't need

If my skin color could be PINK I would make it happen

Okay now it's time for some Girl Talk AKA Bachelor trash talk!

I used to consistently do Girl Talk Tuesday, but somehow fell off the bandwagon.  Well folks I'm bringing it back, so here it goes! FOREWARNING: I'm mostly going to be talking about Trashy reality  TV aka The Bachelor, Teen Mom, RHBH, etc, etc...

I'm slacking a little because I didn't post my recap of The Bachelor last week, so here are a few quick tidbits:

• Nubby went on a pity date with Sean, jumped off the building with him and got a rose... She seriously needs to stop talking about her 1 arm, I forget about it then she brings it up again and I notice...
• Group Date: the girls get to model for a trashy romance book cover and THE MODEL girl wins, even though she doesn't get the group date rose, that was saved for Kacie B.
• Unmemorable people go home, now on to this week....

Source: thedailydishn.wordpress.com via Alexis on Pinterest

Episode 3 Breakdown

One-On-One: Leslie and Sean go on a one-on-one and break the record for world's longest on-screen kiss!  I was thinking it was 3 hours, but then saw that it was only 3 minutes! Hell-o I could totally break that record just send a camera crew my way.  Leslie gets the rose.  I'm thinking she is going to be top 4! Oh and not to mention I lurved her White lace dress with the open back, she looked gorge!

Sean looks like an Open-Mouthed Seal Face in this pic!  I don't even know what that means, but it's the first thing I thought when I saw this...

Source: wetpaint.com via Mitzi on Pinterest

Group Date: Beach Time! The girls frolic in the sand and play some foosball football and whoop like coyotes when Sean takes his shirt off {Okay, let's be real I would do the same}!  Of course it's not all fun and games, they get a volleyball tournament going!

Source: bachelorsean.com via Michelle on Pinterest

PS - did anyone notice how fit these girls look in bathing suits!? Is it a requirement to have a 6-pack on this show?  They look much better than they can play volleyball, the were all terrible as -in they could barely get the ball over the net!

The team that lost gets sent home immediately and the tears start flowing! Winning team gets a chance to make their mark on Sean.

The girls desperately cling to Sean to make an impression.. Amanda is insane psycho byotch! I hope Sean see's through her soon!

Kacie B. outs Amanda and Desiree and Sean looks like a seal out-of-water when she is telling him.  He questions why she is the one outting them!  Her night ends in uncontrollable tears!

Lindsey gets the rose - who is this girl again? Wait, is she the one that wore a wedding dress on the first night?  I seriously can't even remember her face...

Poor "little doll" Tierra falls down the stairs {pry on purpose for attention} and refuses medical attention! She it T-T-T Trazy!!! She needs to go home, like immediately.  However she is drama and entertainment so maybe she should stay and play for a while!

Second One-On-One Date

Ash-lee is the chosen-one for the second one-on-one. WTF is she wearing? Her dress looks like my grandma's tablecloth! I would have to say this is lace gone wrong!

Since T-T-T Trazy falls down the stairs, she gets insane amounts of attention from Sean and cuts into Ash-lee's one-on-one time!

They close down Six Flags and take 2 girls with Chronic illnesses with them - is Sean really this sweet or is the show encouraging him to do this??

She gets a Rose.

Rose Ceremony
KacieB gets called out at the beginning and he gets rid of her
Taryn {unmemorable} and Kristy the Sock Bunning Model Go Home

Can't wait for Roller Derby next week, gonna be AMAZEBALLS! Looks like T-T-T-Trazy gets even crazier next week and I can't wait for the drama to ensue!

Longest POST EVER!!! OOPS, Sorry!