May 14, 2013

Why I should be a Real Housewife

I love drinking Champs and by Champs I mean Andre Dry Sparkling Champagne.  Ya know the kind that’s $4.99 a bottle, yeah I like that.  Maybe I would switch to Rose if I was a housewife, I dunno the jury’s out on that one…

I’m VERY opinionated.  90% of the time I actually say what I’m thinking, I would definitely get in some cat fights...

I was born to be a Stay at Home Wife.  I think I would do an excellent job being in charge of maids, kitchen staff, pool boys, nannies etc. I would lounge by the pool all day with Champs in hand and a Bud Light in the other.

I have long blonde hair, isn't that a requirement for the RHOC?

I’m very flexible, I would have no problem going on impromptu vacations to Costa Rica, Vegas, Paris, you name it, I’ll be there!

I am perfectly fine with Day drinking, all day everyday...

I could totally design my own line of something.  Hmm… Alcohol, purses, perfume, makeup, clothing, personal toys, the possibilities are endless….  I think I would design my own lipstick line infused with alcohol.  Somehow when you apply it, you get a little shot of Alcohol. Yeah that’s it Alcohol Infused Lip Plump.  The Flavors would be: Sex on the beach, Cosmopolitan, Daiquiri, Margarita, Natural Light (for the redneck woman) – what do you think, would you buy this?

I could be a news anchor; I mean seriously I would HAVE to be better than Alexis. That was just plain embarrassing! She claims that she quit, but I guarantee she was asked to leave…

Instead of an All White Party I would host an All Pink Party, OBVIOUSLY!  This would Include pink panthers, flamingos, girls with their body painted in different shades of pink.  Everyone would HAVE to wear pink. Piece of cake!

Could you be a Real Housewife??


  1. LOVE IT! I was born to be a Real Housewife too. I tell everyone my audience isn't ready for me yet. LOL!

  2. HAHA! you make me laugh girl;) I am a "housewife" I guess you could say.. but my life doesn't have nearly enough drama or interesting things going on. LOL

  3. Haha! You are too funny. RH is my guilty pleasure.

    Great post :)

  4. HAHA love this!! I would love to be a housewife as well lol

  5. The bug that is on my windshield right now would be a better news anchor than Alexis! I love this post, and your lipstick idea is awesome :)

  6. This is simply amazing.

    Alexis cut her hair--she didn't fit in anymore ;)

  7. Um you and I were separated at birth I think! We should be real housewives together and our backstory could be separated at birth! haha

  8. Ummm YES I am desperately anticipating Bravo starting a Real Housewives of Chicago! I am totally with you on this and could pull it off...I think OC is my favorite group...Atlanta and Jersey are the worst to me!

  9. LOVE THIS. so silly!!

    i would buy the lip plumper :)

  10. BAHAHAH I could totally be a RH!!

    Alexis SUCKS, duhh.

    but all the qualities/duties of a housewife...yeah i could do that!

  11. This post is amazing! I totally am right there with you, I swear I day dream of being a housewife. I guess I can have a dream :) so silly


  12. GAH! I'll be your next door neighbor! I can't stand Alexis.


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