January 8, 2013

The Bachelor Episode 1: Blab & Gab

First off, I have a new About Me Page - check it out and lemme know what you think!

It's back, finally!  Time to watch some byotches and ho's cat fight over the Abtastic Sean Lowe!  The Bachelor is my absolute fave cuz I like to watch girls backstab each other, make fools of themselves, cry, show way too much cleavage, get drunk, cry more and desperately throw themselves at a guy. Let the drama begin!

The night starts out with Arie giving Sean kissing advice {weird}. "It's about kissing with your body" - wait, what?! Not sure if I understand this, so do I use my mouth or my body or do I kiss your body with my mouth!?

Now it's time to meet the ladies.  Seriously some of these girls are Cray Cray!

Crazy Bridal Wedding Byotch: gets wasted, tries to kiss Sean and she STILL gets to stay
One-Armed Blondie {I'm not hatin, just my description}
50 Shades of Crazy Cat Lady
Arkansas Politician
Ford Model Slutty McSlutterson
The Adopted Professional Organizer
#Backhandspring Fail Girl
Sloppy Seconds Kacie

Seriously girl, WTF were you thinking?  So luck you didn't get kicked off! Via
Nice try, clearly writing a song and singing it for Sean ISN'T going to work - BuhBye!  Via
Ugh - I've been sitting cross-legged too long, my knee feels like it's about to bust open!  Okay, I'm side-tracking...

Favorite Quote of the Night from Sean "I think she got 50 Shades of Drunk Tonight" - right after he says that her sparkly ass falls down the stairs to the floor - KERPLUNK!

Sean starts giving out roses left and right and all the girls start getting their panties in a wad!  The claws are already starting to come out!

A whole bunch of no one cares happens and it ends with a recap of what's to come this season!

The best part is 50 Shades of Crazy/Drunk Cat Lady exits in the end and does a little dancing with the scarf!  She hikes up her skirt, refers to her barbie ass and shows us some tattoo that's blurred out! She said it was a real BUMSKEE that Sean didn't pick her! {New fave word}This is going to be all over the interwebs, can't wait to see the gifs starting to fly around, it was HILARIOUS! Her closing statement is "Mom, don't me mad"....

Do you think she was already drunk? Via

Helene in Between


  1. wow! crazy recap. seriously i used to love the bachelor/bachelorette but it just is too much for me now! your about me is so cute :) of course my favorite are the kitties!!

  2. I blogged about last's night episode too. Fifty Shades girl and the girl in the mermaid dress were my two annoyances for the night lol

  3. OMG Yes 50 shades was sooo beyond over the top. And what's up with that girl showing her 'Barbie Booty' I thought it was a weird bruise, didn't realize it was a tattoo blurred out. Good lord, it probably said "Property of Christian Grey" or something.

    LOVED your recap!

    Leah /// Lovely Life of Leah

  4. 50 Shades of Grey girl is nuts. So sad that she was dancing like that and so drunk. She probably was feeling a bit dumb last night while watching. Wedding dress girl is weird too. Can't believe she got a rose. There are some crazy ones again this season. I read the spoilers. Always interesting. Love this show. Haha!

  5. I loved last night's show. I thought it was all kinds of awful/awesome. I sorta liked how he gave out roses throughout the evening! BRILLIANT! And I love drunk girls on the first night. Good quality viewing.

  6. Love this! you said everything I was thinking! These girls are cray-cray!

  7. I LOVE your blog...Great photos!Really enjoying:)FOLLOW YOU NOW! Please check mines If you want we can follow also with bloglovin, google+, twitter and facebook?
    Come back soon to visit my blog, I'll be waiting for you!!

  8. LOL your nicknames are absolutely perfect! They need to put 50 shades of crazy cat lady on next season of Bachelor Pad. She is reality TV gold!

  9. Haha! I love your recap and your names for the girls.

  10. omg forgot about the 50 shades of drunk. that line is awesome. and love the nick names!

  11. i love the bachelor! some of those girls are crazy!!

  12. i loved the 50 shades of drunk! best part :)

    i was so excited to join your blog!I hope you join back.

    stay in touch! :) cheers


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