How To Behave While In A Spa

Walk in to the place like you own it, like you have been there before and everyone knows you by your first name...

Carry a designer bag so it looks as though you really belong there - by designer I mean "Merona by Target"

Ask the first person you see for a glass of wine - this is a requirement

Step into the lockerroom and immediately patrol the place to see if there are any hotter byotches than your fine self, all clear? Snap a selfie (hopefully no one walks in on you doing this)

In this selfie make sure you tilt your head to just the right angle to make yourself look 99% prettier than you really are - observe below...

Next slip on those hideous spa sandals, WTF any they be any cuter than this? I mean what is this the Stone Age and I'm going to meander around the spa with a bone in my hair

This is the most important step, make sure to take a pic of all the luxury you are basking in and post to every social media site you can think of.  I mean what is the point in even going to a spa if no one knows you're there! Remember that girl in junior high that had a better bra than you, well now SHE is going to be jealous of you! Bitchy teenage princess zero, self-absorbed adult 1 #winning

While posting to social media make sure you also add numerous ridiculous hashtags: 

#spahairdontcare #imluckyandyourenot #dailyroutine 

#thankyoulordforprovodingmethisamazinglife

Last, but not least try to actually enjoy the services you are at the spa for, I know it's going to be difficult because you are going to be wondering how many instlikes you have received within the first 30 seconds of posting your selfie, but try to refrain, or not.....